This isn’t a travel blog. If you’re looking for things you need for your trip (which is really just a way for me to earn money by advertising for expensive shit you won’t actually use), go back to Google and try again.

I love traveling. It’s as essential as air and water. Whether it’s a road trip, a weekend junket, or an international destination, it’s worth going to, exploring, and seeing. And while going alone is always an option, it can be more fun to travel with friends. So, here are the friends I recommend you take with you when you plan your next trip.

Your Unselfish Friends

It should go without saying, but you don’t want to take your friend that always has her hand stuck out and wants to examine the dinner bill with a magnifying glass. You might love her to pieces, but she’s going to drive you insane with all her nickel and diming. If you take an uber, she is surely the one who won’t have the app on her phone, won’t know how to split the cost, and will question why the uber is going in the direction it’s going as though she actually knows how to get to the destination herself.

Before you question how you will know who she is before you ever travel with her, think about it. This is your friend who always leaves early and conveniently forgets to include tax and tip on her portion of dinner. She will tally her meal to the last penny, leave exactly that (or tell you to keep the change on the less than a dollar that she leaves), and then act shocked if anyone brings up the fact that she shorted the table. Who me? Girl, I would never. This is also your friend who always thinks whatever you leave for a tip is too much (“That waitress put too much ice in my drink…did she say hi when came to the table? She must not want a tip today.”) She is the family member that won’t pay her dues for the family reunion, but will come to the picnic with Popeyes and eat it as though she is daring someone to ask her to leave the venue the dues paid for. You know who she is — leave her at home.

Friends with Positive Attitudes

Things may go wrong. Flights get delayed. Traffic might make you miss your spa appointment. You might have accidentally brought your cheap friend. In the event that everything doesn’t go as planned, you want your friends with positive attitudes. Negative Nelly is sure to blow the mood, and make things worse than they are, even if the rest of you are trying to have a good time in spite of the problems that may have arisen.

Even in the best situation, Negative Nelly is going to blow your mood because in her heart of hearts, she is a buzzkill. She doesn’t like her roommate. Someone moved her toothpaste in the bathroom. She’s tired of this, and she doesn’t like that, and don’t you think it’s funny that…blah blah snore. She will complain about how clear the ocean water is if she can see her feet. Her joy in life is stealing everybody else’s joy so leave her ass at home let her enjoy her time at home.

Friends Who Aren’t Divas

It’s cool if your bestie is a diva, but you probably don’t want to travel with her. Divas need to be pampered princesses everywhere, and that means she will look to you to be her lackey if there isn’t anyone else around to cater to her every whim and desire. Yes, that means she is overpacking and expecting you to handle her bags. Yes, that means when she is hungry, the world will need to stop to ensure she has “libations” and “something delicious” that isn’t any of the five thousand things to eat nearby.

She is definitely going to blow your time schedule. So if you take her, don’t plan any excursions. For one thing, you won’t make it on time because she is going to move at her own pace, which doesn’t answer to a clock unless she’s ready to go and you aren’t. She’s the girl at the spa who takes a million years when they’re trying to clear the room for their next appointment. No matter if you’re already ending an hour behind schedule. She will announce petulantly that she “feels rushed” after taking 45 minutes in the shower and another thirty to put on her clothes.

She needs to be the center of attention, and there will be hell to pay if she isn’t. While you might think you’re on a trip to relax and have a good time with friends, half of your trip will be spent making sure the Diva is okay. The other half will be spent doing things she feels like doing, because, let’s face it, this trip was really all about her anyway, right?

Friends Who Share Your Vacation Philosophy

Whether you enjoy athletic excursions, shopping, or lounging by the pool, you want to travel with friends who enjoy vacationing the way you do. I’m a planner. I like excursions and seeing the local flavor. Because of that, I don’t travel with people who only want to lounge by the pool. If I want company during my explorations, I know my best bet is to travel with a friend who gets bored after a day poolside.

The same goes for you. If you are a spend the whole trip in the resort kind of girl, you don’t want to take your friends like me, because when they leave you — and they will — you will be irritated to find yourself alone at the pool, trying to make friends with the people who traveled with their likeminded pool-loving friends.

When planning your trip, keep in mind what your purpose is and choose your travel companions accordingly. And, if you find that someone asks you to go on a trip and they don’t fit one of the above categories, don’t be afraid to say no. It can save your friendship.