In March of 2020, the world of education turned upside down as many teachers went from working in schools everyday to working from home and attempting to provide our students with some level of education while balancing the inequities of student access to technology on students from low-income families. The year ended with. both parents and teachers alike disappointed in the end result. We weren’t prepared to reach every student, and for the first time (for some educators, anyway), the differences between the haves and the have nots became glaringly apparent.

If you were like me, you went into the summer thinking ahead. What will the fall look like? If we don’t go back — or if we have to shut down buildings again — what can we do differently to ensure our students still have an opportunity to learn? How can we ensure that public school students in impoverished neighborhoods aren’t getting left further behind? Forward thinking teachers spent at least a little time training for distance learning, looking for resources they could use to address the needs of their students, and working with their administrators to address issues of inequity.

Instead of using your vacation time to recharge and come back strong, you stressed and worried about the students you last saw in March and the ones heading your way in August and September. You watched headlines to see how teachers were once again chided and lambasted if we seemed to have even the slightest of misgivings about going back into schools that were cesspools of germs even before Covid-19 was a thing. You engaged in debates about why it isn’t fair to put the onus of childcare on us…or you questioned the reluctant about why we aren’t more willing to sacrifice ourselves on the altar of capitalism. And so, here we are. Fall is upon us, and instead of coming back strong, we’re starting the school year with just as many questions as we had at the end of the last school year.

Aren’t you tired?

Let’s kick off the school year with some ground rules to ensure you don’t experience some burnout before the end of the first marking period, especially if you are doing any kind of remote learning from your home.

1. Stick to your set work hours. Easier said than done, right? Because work and home, for some of us, will overlap, it can be easy to blur the lines. Don’t. Set an alarm for yourself to stop working everyday. And then — this is the hard part — disconnect. Don’t check your work email. Turn your Remind on Do Not Disturb. If you think of something you forgot to tell your students during your class time, treat it as though the bell has rung, and the students are gone for the day: save that “oops I forgot to tell you” message until the following day.
2. Set clear expectations for your students and their parents. Once you have communicated what your work hours are (they should follow your school and district guidelines, unless you are volunteering some extra time to them), stick to that. I encourage you to, at least at the start of the year, set out of office reminders on your email at the end of the day. If a parent or student complains that they tried to get in touch with you after your set hours, patiently and firmly remind them that you have your own home to look after when you get off work — even if all that’s at your home is you and your comfy slippers.
3. Keep your personal email and phone number private. If you absolutely must, set up a Google Voice number, but otherwise, use apps like Remind or TalkingPts to text parents. Families will appeal to your sympathy if they can when their student is struggling; and often, we’ll want to give in for the greater good. However, in this case, the greater good is maintaining a healthy work/home balance.
4. Set up workspace in your home that you can keep separate from your relaxation area. Even if you don’t have a home office, you want to set up a space that you will use exclusively as your working space. This area should not be in your bedroom (ideally, you never want to work in your bedroom to help your body rest easier in your sleeping area); carve out space in your living room or den. In addition to that, you may want to create a portable work area outside — as long as the weather permits, you want to have a space that gives you a chance to get some air.
5. Have your work materials in a central location. Pens, pencils, paper, books, and other materials should be in once space so you have what you need when you are teaching. Just like when you are in your classroom, you want to not have to stress out about materials you can’t find when you need them.
6. Try to sleep at night. Many of us, including our students, have experienced some sleep issues since the start of this. At least attempt to get some sleep at night, so you can be refreshed during your working hours. It’s hard to model what being alert looks like if you aren’t actually alert yourself. The more rested you feel, more focused and prepared you’ll feel.

Did I leave anything out? If I did, leave a message in the comments.

Writing is life! I’ve been scrounging for ideas as though real life isn’t enough to produce some ideas these days: UFOs are real, murder hornets are an actual thing, and a pandemic has shut the world down… Anything is possible! In the midst of it all, I realized that we might be overdue for a writing challenge.

Fingers crossed. Tomorrow, I’ll put together a calendar of ideas, and I’ll upload prompts so we can be about the business of doing what we do.

Happy writing!

But Are You? Are You Really? Hm.

Not too many years ago, I worked at an all boys’ school. My friends and I used to joke that the boys thought we were fine because they didn’t have girls their own age to look at. So, even if a teacher really looked like the caricature of a lunch lady, we all looked like snacks. If you were actually good looking, then you were the finest of the lunch ladies. The crushes were harmless, and most of the students knew not to act on their crushes unless they wanted their souls snatched into the ether. The ones that couldn’t resist testing the waters typically became examples of why you don’t attempt to date your teacher.*

About six years have passed since that first group of boys graduated from high school. Many have college degrees. They have jobs, and a lot have children. They consider themselves to be grown @$$ men. They’ve proven themselves with women of their own age group. And now that they’re grown, some get it into their minds that they can — and should — act on that crush from many a moon ago.

Slow down there, little buddy.

Here’s a slice of reality for you. Your teacher crush likely didn’t notice and/or take your crush seriously when you were in their classroom. Know why? Because you were a child. You weren’t capable of carrying on an adult conversation, and your teacher had friends and significant others outside of the school. For every teacher you hear about committing criminal sexual assault against their students (because when a teacher dates a student, any kind of physical contact between that student and teacher is a CRIME), there are exponentially more who have never had one ounce of physical attraction for their students. Those criminals are the exceptions; the rule is you don’t have sex with children, especially children who have been entrusted to your care.

So. Your teacher wasn’t thinking about you while you were in school. That’s okay, now, though, right? Because school has been out and you are grown now. Right? Right?

No. Just no. Please don’t do it to yourself. Or to that teacher. Hitting on your former teacher is a bad idea. No matter how grown you are and how many conquests you’ve made, this isn’t a challenge you should attempt. I won’t speak for all teachers, but for me, my students are like my kids. So it’s disgusting to even consider dating one of them. Ever. Not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. It makes my skin crawl to think about it. It’s not ever going to happen.

So. At best, you will have made me throw up a tad at the very idea. If you’re lucky and I like you as a human being, I’ll just block every point of contact between us. That’s generally hurtful to me. I’m nosy enough to like to know what’s going on with my babies, and cutting you off cuts me off from having a peek into the fabulous future I think you should have.

At worst, though, I’ll embarrass you. Snatch your soul into the ether. Remind you that I haven’t changed because I will roast your audacious butt into infinity for thinking you ever had a chance of getting a date with me. I’m telling your former principal (and blaming that soul for not raising you better). I’m contacting any coaches you had or have relationships with to ask them to remind you that I am way too old to be bothered with you. I imagine most teachers feel the same about their former students.

I get it. I know you heard that some teacher somewhere ran into a former student once they were adults and now they are happy together and have been for years. THAT’S RARE, and it’s not happening with me. Love yall like stepchildren, so no. Cherish our fond memories and don’t send me any unsolicited pictures of body parts. Don’t send any weird messages confessing that you want to spend time with me. Please please please don’t confess love. Feel free to think of me as your other mother. If you wouldn’t say it or try it with your mom, keep it to yourself (and if you are trying to be physical with your mom, please get some help. Really).

Love you (from a distance), and I hope the best for you. Be blessed, and enjoy your life.

This isn’t a travel blog. If you’re looking for things you need for your trip (which is really just a way for me to earn money by advertising for expensive shit you won’t actually use), go back to Google and try again.

I love traveling. It’s as essential as air and water. Whether it’s a road trip, a weekend junket, or an international destination, it’s worth going to, exploring, and seeing. And while going alone is always an option, it can be more fun to travel with friends. So, here are the friends I recommend you take with you when you plan your next trip.

Your Unselfish Friends

It should go without saying, but you don’t want to take your friend that always has her hand stuck out and wants to examine the dinner bill with a magnifying glass. You might love her to pieces, but she’s going to drive you insane with all her nickel and diming. If you take an uber, she is surely the one who won’t have the app on her phone, won’t know how to split the cost, and will question why the uber is going in the direction it’s going as though she actually knows how to get to the destination herself.

Before you question how you will know who she is before you ever travel with her, think about it. This is your friend who always leaves early and conveniently forgets to include tax and tip on her portion of dinner. She will tally her meal to the last penny, leave exactly that (or tell you to keep the change on the less than a dollar that she leaves), and then act shocked if anyone brings up the fact that she shorted the table. Who me? Girl, I would never. This is also your friend who always thinks whatever you leave for a tip is too much (“That waitress put too much ice in my drink…did she say hi when came to the table? She must not want a tip today.”) She is the family member that won’t pay her dues for the family reunion, but will come to the picnic with Popeyes and eat it as though she is daring someone to ask her to leave the venue the dues paid for. You know who she is — leave her at home.

Friends with Positive Attitudes

Things may go wrong. Flights get delayed. Traffic might make you miss your spa appointment. You might have accidentally brought your cheap friend. In the event that everything doesn’t go as planned, you want your friends with positive attitudes. Negative Nelly is sure to blow the mood, and make things worse than they are, even if the rest of you are trying to have a good time in spite of the problems that may have arisen.

Even in the best situation, Negative Nelly is going to blow your mood because in her heart of hearts, she is a buzzkill. She doesn’t like her roommate. Someone moved her toothpaste in the bathroom. She’s tired of this, and she doesn’t like that, and don’t you think it’s funny that…blah blah snore. She will complain about how clear the ocean water is if she can see her feet. Her joy in life is stealing everybody else’s joy so leave her ass at home let her enjoy her time at home.

Friends Who Aren’t Divas

It’s cool if your bestie is a diva, but you probably don’t want to travel with her. Divas need to be pampered princesses everywhere, and that means she will look to you to be her lackey if there isn’t anyone else around to cater to her every whim and desire. Yes, that means she is overpacking and expecting you to handle her bags. Yes, that means when she is hungry, the world will need to stop to ensure she has “libations” and “something delicious” that isn’t any of the five thousand things to eat nearby.

She is definitely going to blow your time schedule. So if you take her, don’t plan any excursions. For one thing, you won’t make it on time because she is going to move at her own pace, which doesn’t answer to a clock unless she’s ready to go and you aren’t. She’s the girl at the spa who takes a million years when they’re trying to clear the room for their next appointment. No matter if you’re already ending an hour behind schedule. She will announce petulantly that she “feels rushed” after taking 45 minutes in the shower and another thirty to put on her clothes.

She needs to be the center of attention, and there will be hell to pay if she isn’t. While you might think you’re on a trip to relax and have a good time with friends, half of your trip will be spent making sure the Diva is okay. The other half will be spent doing things she feels like doing, because, let’s face it, this trip was really all about her anyway, right?

Friends Who Share Your Vacation Philosophy

Whether you enjoy athletic excursions, shopping, or lounging by the pool, you want to travel with friends who enjoy vacationing the way you do. I’m a planner. I like excursions and seeing the local flavor. Because of that, I don’t travel with people who only want to lounge by the pool. If I want company during my explorations, I know my best bet is to travel with a friend who gets bored after a day poolside.

The same goes for you. If you are a spend the whole trip in the resort kind of girl, you don’t want to take your friends like me, because when they leave you — and they will — you will be irritated to find yourself alone at the pool, trying to make friends with the people who traveled with their likeminded pool-loving friends.

When planning your trip, keep in mind what your purpose is and choose your travel companions accordingly. And, if you find that someone asks you to go on a trip and they don’t fit one of the above categories, don’t be afraid to say no. It can save your friendship.

Journal Prompt

Do you believe in ghosts and spirits? Why or why not?

Story Starter

Write a ghost story.

Journal Prompt

What scares you?

Story Starter

Out of the corner of your eye, you see something scurry under your bed. Was that a spider? You don’t know, but it wasn’t big enough for you to stress out about it. You go to bed comfortable that whatever it was can be easily killed later, if it comes from beneath the bed. You wake up covered in a sticky web. Across the room from you is a spider the size of a football. Write the story.

Journal Prompt

Write a journal prompt in which you describe what you see in the picture. Be detailed and descriptive. This is an exercise in painting a word picture.

Story Starter

You and your friends plan a vacation at what, online at least, is a plush mini-mansion. However, the GPS leads you to this. You want to leave, but your car won’t start, and there’s no cell phone service. Write the story.

Journal Prompt

Who are you? Really, deep on the inside, the secret you that no one but you knows? Who is that person? Write a journal that describes the you that you don’t show the rest of the world.

Story Starter

Mirrors are weird. Everything in it is reversed and distorted from real life. One day, you look in your mirror, and the face looking back at you is you…but not you. And the not you in the mirror wants you to come to the other side for a visit. Write the story.